Joy in a Bento

Leave it to one of our great neighbors to pass along gauge that will make an additional stay in Hawai'i fantastic now that we have discovered a place to rekindle our Japanese food romance. Yes, it's true, HH and I are in love...with food. Regardless of what the health nuts will say. Sometimes all you need is some good tastin' food and your ailment is cured. We ventured out today in hopes of finding our food nirvana, our big kahuna, our hot tamale...the okonomiyaki of our eyes. We had been told that this place would stir up those memories of eating in Japan to the point that we would look around ourselves and actually think that we were sitting in a downstairs hidden grocery store off of the Blue street happily eating food from plastic containers with our hashi...nahhh...that couldn't possibly be the case. Needless to say, we set out with hopes but not necessarily high ones on a beautiful Hawai'ian Sunday afternoon.

American version of Japanese food is at best, mediocre or down right comical, even with us now being stationed in Hawai'i. Yes, we've found our kaiten sushi, but we all know that real sushi is truly raw and not typically cream cheese with sudo crabmeat added for a little bit of realism. Ok. I freely admit I got spoiled after five years of living in Japan. I am a Japan snob. I would go so far as to say that we went "native" on our second tour. I'm not missing eating what most associate with Japan: yakisoba, fancy meat done prepared by some crazy hat chef twirling all to sharp knives as oohs and ahhs come from wide mouths open in wonder. Nope. I'm missing the six pefectly formed balls of takoyaki smothered in full loaded mayo & bonito and bright red pickled ginger, okonomiyaki that you cook at your table and you fill with chunks of fresh octopus (suction cups not removed) & bonito & cabbage also smothered in mayo (no fat free for us!) and the feast de resistance...oishi brown sauce that is sweet and tangy, and the heavenly pancakes that I couldn't pass up the little papa-san baking fresh in a tiny dusty shop that wouldn't have ever passed any health inspection in the states. These were filled with anzuki served steaming hot and so good eaten while sipping on hot Georgia coffee from a can that even at 120 yen was a bargain for the maybe 8 oz that was in the cylindrical heaven in a can.

So, as we walked up to the plain fronted doors of Shirokiya, our hopes were beginning to rise. We had been told that this would be an oasis of all things we remembered about being in a Japanese store, only the food wouldn't be tucked away and stretch forever in a rabbit warren of good smells filling the air, bento boxes neatly and perfectly packed and arranged, fresh fruit and veggies overflowing in type-A pyaminds in the basement of a department store, instead, our oasis would be on the top floor and make our minds flip. Indeed our minds did take a trip. I still can't believe the overwhelming sense of "my goodness...we've found our piece of Japan in Hawai'i..." Kokeshi filled the shelves, little adorable animals made from brightly colored fabric dangled in hopes of being chosen for someone handy phone, shiseido make-up adds hung from the walls and I swear they were hanging seven years ago in the posh department stores of Tokyo. We were transported. The kids poor souls didn't know what hit them. They were flooded with "remember this...", "WOW, HS...this section looks just like the one that you and I would shop in before heading to the play area", "just imagine...the sounds you are hearing are the same as the ones you'd be hearing if we were shopping on the blue street..."

Then, as the elevator doors opened to the third floor, the smell, the packages, the individual little restraunts with people busily preparing the type-A bento boxes that we so enjoyed purchasing laid in front of us in a jumble of small narrow pathways. We had left Hawai'i and had found our heaven. There was okonimiyaki, tempura, cold soba with summer sauce and cucumber shaved on top, tea, sushi grade fish ready to go home and be turned into a feast; we wandered around first and pointed, stared, giggled, and from deep down within, I could feel that same feeling of being in Japan.



For a moment, if only while we ate, the memories flowed as if they had just happened yesterday, not four +/- years ago. I couldn't wait to dig in into the food...it took every ounce of my self control (which I'm not prone to doing well when excited) not to devour everyone's food at the table and yes, HH had to pry me out of the chair and roll me onto the elevator once we were finished. I can't wait to go back! For those of you planning on visiting us here in the land of Aloha, please forgive me if I choose not to cook one night in favor of bringing you to the smorgasbord of Japanese dining! I promise you'll find joy right in front of you in a neatly prepared bento only there won't be a bow attached, just delicious sauce poured on!

Remember this Moment...

the moment when I made my vow to stay off the computer while LD and HS are awake. I've even made little post-it notes around the computer and left one attached to the I-touch. I think it's wonderful that technology has increased twice fold over the years, but with that has come the need to set limits. Their childhood is just way too short. It's time to stop what can wait and enjoy the moments that I can never get back. I freely admit that over the past couple of weeks my actions have been for other things. I have never been the kind of person who wants to not assist others, but I feel like I've lost something of myself...time with my kids. It took one moment inspired by God and carried out by the laughter of one of my greatest blessings to reinforce what truly matters...this:



There is nothing like snuggling in a bed with no where else to go but to listen to her giggles, songs, and chats with "Pooh" and "Momma". Dancing without care while LD twirls in a tutu and Cody sports a tiara is a perfect way to make my blood pressure go down. Sitting with HS on the sofa when he comes home from school and watching his expressions as he relives his day since I missed it is priceless.

The vow has been made, the pact has been sealed. It's time to live in the moment so that I can remember them later when my children have taken wings and flown.

40 and FA-bu-LouS!

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to YOU!
Happy Birthday dear Sister,
You're turning 40 today!

Today my sister is turning the BIG FOUR-oh.

How can that possibly be?!? When in the world did she go from being 30 to having a decade go by like *snap* that? Goodness. Stop the time clock already!

The big difference between my sis and me is that she is taking aging gracefully. She doesn't care that she's getting older, she's not dwelling on those wonderful wrinkles and little brown spots (that inevitably my eyes find on my face and cause me more frown lines because I keep staring at them), she's not complaining that with each year she finds additional sprinkles of God's use of highlights, she's embracing her new age. So what if she is at the beginning of a new decade?

In four years, I can only hope that someone will say that I'm 40 and FA-bu-Lous! Right now, knowing what they do about my age hang-up it would be 40 and Poopy. Not my sis. She is fabulous in so many ways. I can say it. I'm not being bias (maybe only a little). It's true! In my 36 years of being blessed with her as my sister, I have found that she has more traits that make me love her.

Here's 40 of them in honour of today:


1. Creative
2. Intelligent
3. Fun
4. Faithful
5. Gracious
6. Cheerful
7. Loved
8. Sensitive
9. Generous
10. Kind
11. Responsible
12. Optimistic
13. Talented
14. Ethical
15. Helpful
16. Artsy
17. Dramatic
18. Amazing
19. Dynamic
20. Beautiful
21. Devout
22. Thoughtful
23. Confident
24. Inspired
25. Complex
26. Open-minded
27. Sensitive
28. Private
29. Musical
30. Gifted
31. Honest
32. Supportive
33. Courageous
34. Motivated
35. Passionate
36. Awesome Aunt
37. Super Sister
38. Delightful Daughter
39. Phenomenal Mother
40. Wonderful Wife

So, Happy 40th Birthday my dear sis!
On this day that you turn 18 with 22 years of experience,
may you always know that you are so very special
and with that...
I'm off to make my 40 phone calls that will remind you of that!

A Girl and Her Dog

Each of us needs a playmate. Girls need 'em to feel like they are part of the social network, boys need 'em to enjoy the world of imagination, adults need 'em to assist them in feeling like a kid again, and dogs need 'em. Yep. That's right. Dogs need 'em.

My world has been really crazy. My plate has been mighty full and moments to relax without worry have been far and few. It is just at a moment that I feel that silent scream enter my mind that a giggle, a song, and a twirling ballerina will flit in front of me followed by a tri-colored blur of fur.

There is nothing better lately than to sit and watch LD and Cody interact with one another. He reserves all of his quirky puppy energy just for her. He adores that she's his size, revels in the fact that she loves to hang out on the floor, and clearly admires her imagination streak. One minute he can be a guest at her restaurant having a good cup of Joe served by LD in a way to big apron, and the next, he's in the library listening to the librarian (aka LD) "read" her favorite story. Of course there is also the moments that Cody is the handsome dancer making sure that the world's most stunning ballerina glides along the floor gracefully in her gigantic tutu.

Today, while drumming the countertop impatiently after hanging up the phone and not getting anywhere on rescheduling an appointment, I heard LD giggling and came over to the living room to witness this:



You see, we all need playmates to take away stress, rejuvinate our senses, and make us feel complete. Lucky for me, mine were right where I needed them!

So Thoughtful

A million trillion quadrillion times over I am so in love with the thoughtful nature that HH musters up when I least expect. While on TDY to God's country (OK..so some of you may have other parts of the world that you consider God's country, but for me, I see the gateway being somewhere along the rugged Rocky mountains and extending up into Wyoming and into the reaches of Montana) he finished his meeting much earlier than planned. What does he choose to do with the time? Drive clear across Denver to where my grandparents are buried. This may not seem like a big deal, but it is to me. Especially, when he calls me and asks me who he thinks he's sitting and having a wonderful time with.

"Uhhhh...ummmmm...my Uncle?"
"Nope."
"Errrr...my best friend?"
"Nope."
"Gee, honey, I don't know. Some cool reservist who is ensuring that you fall in love with the notion of retiring there?"
"Retirement would be good for us here...according to your...Grandpa."
Dead silence.

"Did you hear me?"
More dead silence.
I fight back tears.

I can picture the white gravestones all neatly laid out along the green lawn with the Colorado blue sky making a phenomenal contrast to the green of the pine trees and the white of the headstones. I can feel the roughness of the stone where the details of my grandma's name, birth, and death were etched in lettering that no matter how hard I have wanted to take that her death and make it anything other than the month after I was born, could never be changed.

What I can not see is that of my grandpa's side.

I never got to make it to his funeral.

The man who inspired, cheered, and who I can still feel the roughness of his hands in mine as I begged him to not ever leave me days before he died. I can still remember feeling his face, the character lines around his mouth and happy lines around his mouth. The silkiness of the curls in his hair. My grandpa meant the world to me. There are only two other men that can even hold a candle to the love I have for my grandpa.

As I snuggled up to him, I can recall him saying that he would never leave, he'd only be in a different spot. I'd always know he was there. His words gave me comfort, but it was the fact he wouldn't be touchable. I've been through seven years of not touching him. However, he has kept his promise to me; I can sense him. I can see him in the mannerisms and smile of HS. I can witness that special wink when LD crinkles her nose after saying something witty. He's here always. He speaks to me through the rainbows or the rush of the tradewinds through the trees as I fret over putting to much on my plate. He calms me. He called out to HH as he got into the rental car that Friday afternoon.

It wasn't until HH made it to the cemetery that he was able to truly express why it was that he was standing there. He stood proudly in uniform in front of the stone. He Expressed how much we missed him. How great the kids are and how much he thinks that grandpa would enjoy teaching HS how to fish and LD to make the trademark campin' biscuits. How when I get worked up or excited about something, a grandpaism will fly out of my mouth causing those around me to wonder what I said, while HH glows because he knows that I have to hold onto the phrases that I had grown up hearing. He knew that Grandpa could see us living our life, but there aren't many days that we don't wish we could see him. He then took a step back and saluted.

"Honey, would you like to say hello? I've chatted with him for a while now..."
Silence.
I took at deep breath and couldn't control the emotion and tears.
"Of course I do....
I am so thankful that you spoke to HH today....because...Grandpa...I have so missed you. I love you."

Just Me

It's really interesting to sit down to type again. I honestly missed my blogging moments. Sometimes, I felt like screaming out loud, "leave me alone...I want to write!!!" and other times it was more of a constant clang in my brain letting me know that I was getting way to behind and all the ideas I had for a post were going to quickly go POOF if I didn't get myself sitting down for a few minutes to write. Still other times I found myself wondering, "really? does anybody really care what's going on in my little world?"

So, here I am. Cawfee steaming beside me in a cup I remember finding in a dusty tiny shop along a side street in Tokyo, LD snoring away during her nap, HH somewhere in Denver speaking to reservists, HS participating in a war (yep...that's right...neighborhood war!), and Cody either snoring or trying to annoy Kendo. Regardless, I'm here. Just me. I'm peering out at the harbor and looking out towards the Wai'anae range. I am finally relaxed enough to sit and have left a note out reminding me that I am not to be on facebook, Scouttrack, or email. I am to be right here. In peace. Reflecting. Wondering. Day dreaming. It's just me...with thoughts churning deep within:

* hearing I love you from my children and husband shall never grow old. One says it with a lisp, the other with the voice of a boy on the brink of changing his voice, and the last, one who will grow older and older with me and still love me.

* why is it that I've placed such high expectations which have in turn turned into daily demands upon myself as a mother? As a wife? As a leader?

* I'm feeling really worn down from always doing things to a level that I think is perfect and then I find something wrong with what I did.

* I really miss date nights with HH. We are so caught up in the lives of our children and work that by the time we are on our date, all I really want is to snuggle on the sofa and sleep.

* why is it that I feel like such an outsider even in the groups that I think have helped define who I am right now?

* I'm terrified of being told we are going to stay here for another few years. I miss my family, yet I want that tour that has the WOW factor and gives us some culture.

* Why is it that whenever I see a Kansas license plate I always here "Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore" instantly?

* I'm desperately trying to figure out how to keep my teacher licensure. When the h** am I suppose to take these two classes, clean the house, take care of two kids + husband + two animals and get exercise so I don't feel like a big sloth?

* I love that I finally found a Catholic bible study. I crave that fellowship and I adore that I'm finally being brave enough to not let it bother me to use "God" when I'm talking to people. Let's face it, God is the one who has given me my greatest blessings!

* I'm really proud of myself. I made a promise to do absolutely nothing with scouts this weekend and I've remained true to myself. I must still have my moments that I'm not calling someone, writing about, discussing or planning scout things. I love the organization and I'm thrilled that HS enjoys it, but I need to ensure that I don't get burned out.

* It is harder than I thought it would be to save Saturday evenings for mass. With the fellows doing karate on Saturday and Sunday mornings, we have decided that we will guard our Saturday evening and ensure we head to mass. That's challenging. Saturday's used to be our days to have people over or enjoy dining with another family. The movies all start at 4:45 at the cheap seat theater on base. I will maintain Saturday mass at 5. It is too important to not do.

* "No" is not usually in my vocabulary. It is now. It must be. Remind me I wrote this. Constantly.

* I'm aging. God designed us to do that. Even with the fine lines appearing around my eyes, those eyes are still the same ones that peaked out and saw my mom and dad's face for the 1st time, watched my grandpa fish while loving the swaying of his yellow boat on a mountain lake and the smiles and the winks he would give to me, soaked in the beauty of the prairie, took in the face of my HH, hyptonitized by the awe of my two miricales the first time I was able to see them after they were born.

It's just me. Sitting here reflecting, challenging myself, and wondering. Life is so full of great joys and fleeting moments of sorrow. I am blessed.

Dear Mommy and Daddy

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

I know I've been a handful lately as dive into the world of being 2 1/2. Only I really think I'm a lot older than that! My ability to get into trouble quickly creates a quilt of little episodes during that the day that I know sometimes make you wanna scream, laugh, or run into the closest closet and hide. I'm stubborn and strong willed, but I see that those are similar to both of you so I feel really blessed. The best parts of my day are those that include both of you, big brother, and Cody.

Mommy, I'm not sure how you do it, but watching The Little Mermaid and Sleeping Beauty over and over again makes you a saint! I love that you'll get out play dough and loads of squishy paint and just let me enjoy creating. I'm sorry I took you favorite lip gloss and ate it. If it is suppose to be for the outside of my lips and not go into my mouth, than why do they make it smell so delicious that I want to taste it? Also, that tube of toothpaste was already squeezed so much that the glob had already landed on the floor. I think that was done by Kendo's paw. Honest.

Daddy, you are so swell for turning on my beloved Ariel! I've watched it so many times that I bet when you are at work, you hum my favorite song, "Part of Your World" during meetings! I love how you read in silly voices and when mommy comes in to sing the parts of the story that can be sung.

I can't yet explain why it is that when you put me to sleep I'm fully dressed, but when you come to get me in the morning I'm naked as a jay bird. It must be because now that I'm working on being potty trained, there's nothing worse than a big heavy smelly diaper...now I know why you kept saying going to potty on the big girl potty was so awesome...and there was more to it than the M&Ms that I get!

I'm really looking forward to dancing tonight with everyone! The music comes on and I just can't help but shake and move. We all get so silly that it makes me laugh a lot!

I wuv you!
LD

Dedicated to 3rd

Dear Mom and Dad,

Hi! I bet you are excited to be in my classroom tonight! I really enjoy 3rd grade. Thank you for sending me to school for the past three years. I'm glad I'm not new. My favorite subjects are Science, reading, and cursive. I am doing really well. I bet you miss me during the day. I miss you, but I am very busy. Please look at all that I have been doing. Write me a note so I know you were here.

Your dedicated son,
HS

PS: Mom, don't cry.





I can't tell you how much this letter that HS wrote to us for school open house meant. He's really charging forth and taking over on his maturity. Although we've always known he was intelligent, it is so refreshing to not here how "hyper" he is. In fact, we got to hear how quiet and well mannered he is (is she sure that is our son sitting in her class?!?!) He has truly embraced all that 3rd grade has to offer and this Open House made me feel his excitement as we enjoyed a brief intro from Mrs. G (thank goodness for our classroom parent orientation the weekend before school started) and then she left us able to enjoy all the artwork, classwork, and talent of our child.

When you see a life sized recreation of your child sitting at his desk, how could you not let out a squeal of joy and then begin snapping photos?



HS has clearly decided to what he will be dedicated to this year....funny...we knew that the kid in the gi was going to be his "mini' version of himself from across the room! Please notice that he has even left the spot where his blue patch is placed! Sensei would indeed be proud!



Gotta love a kid whose 3rd grade goal is to learn cursive (I swear he salivates whenever it is time to practice his cursive) and get good grades! Also was thrilled to read his spotlight on me answers to his favorite things:

Book~ Percy Jackson and the Lightning Theif series
Subject~ Playing Legos
Animal~ Dog and Cat (guess he didn't want to leave one of his out!)
Food~ Homemade Usually (scored major points with me! See...he does notice if it comes out of a box!)
Hobby~ Playing outside
TV show~ Star Wars: The Clone Wars
I'm good at~ Helping people
When I grow up I want to be a: Navy pilot

One thing I learned that I did not know from his name acrostic poem: apparantly, he doesn't like bannanas...when I asked him about this statement he said..."gosh mom, I tell you that everytime you hand me one with all those spots!" Roger that. Filed away within my brain.


Honestly, hands down this is the best start to the school year we've ever had. Keeping fingers and toes that we continue to watch him charge forth and enjoy the heck out of 3rd grade!

Dog Kinda Day

WOW! Today's my day! A dog kinda day! I was just told that I get to go with my family past the big blockade into what I heard mom call the garage. Do you think she meant garbage? I love garbage. That can't be what she meant though because I always get into trouble whenever I sniff around the sacred place where all the tasty morsels fall into when they are down with their bowls. She tells me to jump into the car and sit down. I think Dad is in the car, but all I can see was the back of my sis and brother. It was a little noisy and it kinda bothered me that they had made me sit all the way in the back. I'm so used to sitting in the front seat next to mom...that is the best place to watch over my brother and sister...it's not as fun when all I get to see is their behinds.




I know that what we were going to do is going to be so much fun! My mom and dad chat all the way to a place they keep saying will make me love water. I'm not sure about that. If it is anything like taking a bath, I know I'm not going to be happy. Don't they realize how long it takes to work up a good strong doggie smell?


We finally arrive at what everyone keeps calling the Happy Hickam Dog Beach. Wow! A place just for dogs? I hope I look all right when I meet the new dog chicks. I always try to show my most handsome side!





See, told you I was one pretty good lookin' fella!

I'm not sure what to make of the grainy stuff. It sticks between my pads of my paws and that wet stuff that keeps lapping up at me is a little frightening. I am really torn on what I should do to protect my charges: one keeps running as quickly as he can in front of me laughing and the other is zooming straight into that scary wet stuff.



Mommy says I need to just remain calm. This is a place that is all about me and others that are like me. We can't go where all the humans go, but this is a place that is designed for us to have fun in with our family. I know daddy brought a ball, but once I got into the wet stuff, I can't see my paws anymore and I think I may be stuck. My mom and sis try to talk me into moving from where I'm standing. Are they insane? Something might suck me down into the water! Finally, I get the confidence to see if I lost my paws or not...I follow mom back onto the grainy stuff with one giant leap!



I'm not sure about this "dog beach" business. I'm really pooped. Maybe we'll go again to..mo....*yawn*....rrow...*snore*

Shed a Tear

Brother and sister,
together as friends,
ready to face
whatever life sends.
Joy and laughter
or tears and strife,
holding hands tightly
as we dance through life.
~Suzie Huitt

Poor LD. My heart broke for her on HS's first day back to school. This summer was obviously good for all of us and she grew to depend on his wit, creativity, and time that he spent with her over the past two months. Although happy at the beginning of the morning as we enjoyed eggs and bacon, by the time she realized that he was going somewhere without her she put on a look of distress and cried when he went to his classroom. Shouting after him, "I wuv you I-ya! I have my pack-pack, too, I-ya!" This was were she lost it. I carried her back to the car, trying to bring her comfort. Realization is a powerful and emotional thing. Upon coming back, she went into the living room...this is how I found her when I brought her her sippy cup.



Oh my LD. Such a big heart you have for your dear brother. I am sure, judging by the look on his face, that he misses you, too while at school! Let the countdown until he returns from school, begin!