Mommy Crocker

As a child, I adored baking day. It didn't matter what we were baking...bread, cookies, pies, or cakes. It was the process, smells, and laughter that I enjoyed. It's interesting how we pass what we love onto our own children and hope that they'll take it and run with that same vigor and joy that you had found.

I've spent a lot of hours with HS in the kitchen. Whoever thinks a boy shouldn't learn how to cook and bake is crazy...I just look at it in two ways whenever questioned as to why I've baked with HS. #1..what a great way to spend quality time with him measuring (so we get a little math lesson in), getting messy, and licking the beaters while waiting for cookies is always great! #2...his future college buddies, girlfriends, and a longer way down the road, wife is going to thank me for giving him the ability to cook.

This morning, on the way to school, HS went over the plan of the day as he always does. "So, what are you going to do today?" he asks after detailing what is going on in his day at school. "Well, I've got to bake cupcakes for your class party and cookies for daddy's office." Silence came from the backseat. As I glanced into the rearview mirror, I could see that he was quite upset and was certainly attempting to get the words out just right.

"I sure do hope she keeps my chef hat on. She can't cook without it. Also, make sure she doesn't hurt herself with the beaters...that would be very bad. And, I'm OK with you baking cupcakes and cookies, but I think you may be in need of my help in frosting them. So, if that's what you're doing today, you're going to be one busy mommy crocker!" He says without blinking.

LD is also on her way to enjoying time with "Mommy Crocker" as HS has coined me. I followed all of HS's rules of the kitchen. She enjoyed the chef hat, loved holding the spoon as I stirred up the cake mix, and inhaled deeply as I held various ingredients under her nose to smell. This was a big day for LD and me. We shared a tradition of mine that goes back to my mom and beyond. HS has been enjoying these moments since he was LD's age. Now it was her turn to be by herself in the kitchen with mommy. Baking. Bonding. And of course, licking the batter off the beaters as we waited for the other assistant chef to return home from school to frost and decorate the cookies.

In a Nutshell

i am...addicted to cawfee
i think...sunsets over the Pacific are the best
i know...leaving is easier than staying
i want...fall leaves, winter winds, and spring showers
i have...more than I need to be happy in life
i dislike...math and numbers
i miss...my college days
i fear...dying early and missing my children grow
i feel...sorry for people who don't have a passion for something
i hear...the clicking of HS's legos as he builds another world
i smell...cinnamon and spice
i crave...spiced apple butter and hot apple cider
i cry...when I'm happy, mad, sad, or feeling the emotions of another
i usually...get my laundry done on Sundays but don't put it away until Tuesdays
i search...for balance in my roles as wife, mother, and friend
i wonder...if we'll own a house or if we'll always live in a military one
i regret...only a few things in my life
i love...the end of any of HH's deployments and thunderstorms
i worry...about the big things and everything in between
i am not...a "fly by the seat of my pants" kinda gal
i remember...holding my grandpa's leathery hand in mine as we sat by the campfire
i believe...that the world is full of good people
i dance...like no one is watching everyday
i don't...eat three square meals a day
i write...because it makes me feel valid
i win...when I get enough sleep to face the day
i lose...track of time
i wish...I was a better wife
i listen...to U2 to pick me up or keep me energized
i don't understand...the electoral college and why they can't just count each vote individually
i can usually be found...near my children
i am scared...of scary movies, the images just stay with me
i need to lose...myself in a good book more often
i forget...to reply to emails
i am happy...camping, hiking, and spending quality time with my family
i dream...of fairies and damsels being saved by prince charmings
i adore...the dating phase of a relationship
i drink...white wine

Startin' off Right

Saturday morning I awoke to a wonderful sound. It wasn't the screams of the bad guys as the good Star Wars characters overtook an enemy base or Scooby Dooby and Shaggy having the same age old problems as they helped solve a mystery with the rest of their crew. My heart leaped as I headed down the hallway to LD's room and peered through the crack.

There was HS standing in front of a very excited little sister, reading one of her books to her. "You're not my mommy!" HS exclaimed as he showed her the pictures and used his best voice inflections. LD bounced happily in her crib busily chatting to her awesome big brother.

I enjoyed watching the story unfold and told HS at the end of his storytime that my goodness, big brothers like him are hard to find. "My heart told me to do it, mommy" he replied with a serious look. "God gave me a little sister to love, so I'm loving her."

Ahhhh...another "out of the mouths of babes" lesson. I wondered all day if I would find him in her room again tenderly reading her a morning book. I didn't have to wonder long.

This morning, I heard the squeak of HS's door opening and then a few seconds later the familiar squeak of LD's. A shuffle of feet and a stirring of the books I keep near the rocking chair insued. Finally, the sweet sound of a child's voice reading a good mornin' story. What a way to wake-up and all because he's following his heart.

General for an Evenin'

I love fall. I love everything about this season. Halloween is a perfect way to "fall" head first into a season that will keep rolling all the way for us until the New Year. Celebrations abound and last night, for the first time in a long time, we attended a Halloween party without the kiddos.

Once I heard that we were invited to a costume party, HH and I were thrown into the fiasco of planning what we should be. Do we go as a couple theme or strike out on our own? We muled through several ideas...UPS man delivering a special package, Corny Hawaiian tourists, and hula dancers (HH said a mighty h*** no to that one...he wouldn't be caught dead in a loin cloth and branches). With each idea, we were caught in a nasty spiral of disagreeing on who or what we should dress as. HH continually went back to his idea whenever we couldn't agree on something else. "Darlin' you'd look great as Mrs. MacArthur...really..." he would try to sneak in as we sat over dinners. "Oh yeah, that's great...let me be the old lady" I would mumble.

Thankfully, the party store held the solution to our problem. As I searched the costume aisle with desperation, my eyes honed in on a Japanese styled wig. Angels sang above my head. I flashed to myself with white make-up, yukata, and wig. In my vision, HH stood next to me as his hero, General Douglas MacArthur. It was brilliant. General meets Geisha during visit to Tokyo. When I proposed the idea to HH, he jumped at the chance to finally agree to his hopes and aspirations of being a General for the evenin' and with that, our thoughts turned to the excitement of dressing up for the party.

There you have it. This year was a blast for HH and I. As we walked back to the house, HH put his arm around me and whispered, "How about becoming Admiral and Mrs. Nimitz next year?" Geezzzz...could we be rockers instead?

Fall in a Jar

I know I have mentioned how the air around this house becomes electrified whenever a box crosses the threshold of our humble abode from the mainland. Today, a box came from my mom and just like other times, everyone clamors around the box trying to figure out what treasure awaits as the tape is sliced and the lid is lifted to reveal the contents of the package. However, we had to delay our opening ceremony as we were in a rush to get homework done and get out the door to HS's karate class. We said our farewells to the magical box and promised we would behold the contents once we sat down for dinner.

We came home, completed all the necessary steps to getting dinner on the table, served up the dishes, and then sat down to pray. "and dear God...thank you for special things from my grandma. She must know how happy she makes us. Amen." HS says with a rather rapid pace as he stares at the unopened box.

"What's in there?!?!" HS says with a mouth full of food.
"I'm not sure darlin'...we'll soon see..."

The tape peeled easily free from the sides of the box and I opened the top revealing a ton of little foamies.
"Looks like we have little foam pieces, darlin'" I slyly say.



With a simple twist of the wrist, the packing foam revealed two wonderful words: Jamisons' Orchard.




My pulse quickened as I dug deeper and HS got on his knees in his chair to peer over the box opening. LD squealed from her highchair as I began to smell the cinnamon found only in the delicious old-fashioned candy that greeted me every year that we were stationed in Japan during the fall months. She had struck again. My mom sent me fall tastes in a box. When you are stationed in a part of the world that doesn't go through seasonal changes, little things like the smells associated with your favorite season of the year mean a lot.

My mom heard me ask for a small jar of Spiced Apple Butter (HH had devoured the one that we had from Gibson's farm in Bethel, much to my chagrin) to help in my Fall quest in Hawaii, and she had gone even further with my wants. We are now the delightful eaters of not only old-fashioned candy and spiced apple butter, but also excited eaters of the sacred peach butter.

How on Earth did I get the coolest mom ever?

"Mommy, we're going to have to hide all this from daddy..." I hear through the smacking of happy HS lips as he devoured his second piece of bread spread with all the tastes I had been missing of fall. Isn't amazing how simple delights can be found in the form of Spiced Apple Butter?

Thank you, mom for sending fall my way. I love you!

Fall Break Top 10

You've read about the horror of what we experienced with HS as he encountered his week and a half post operation mark. We purposely planned the surgery for a time that he had enough time to recover without missing school. So, what do you do to keep a 6 1/2 year old and 10 month old occupied while Fall Break is going on? Here's our clan's "Fall Break Top 10"


10. Sharing a fruit smoothie with friends after water coloring is always a nice way to say, "Yep, I like you."


9. Getting reading time without feeling like you have to race to something else after you're done. Now mommy has to work on something to say whenever HS notes how fun it would be to be home schooled (since we had a blast!)


8. Creating Frankenstein and the Mummy using a spaghetti squash and funky pumpkin. Family Fun magazine was finally utilized again after a hiatus.


7. Decorating Halloween cookies with Daddy after making the batter and baking them with Mommy.



6. Creating bats using only our hands and construction paper. This has been a yearly event since HS was 2. LD even got in on the fun!


5. Ever had the feeling your mom was secretly a member of the paparazzi? LD and HS swear that I am after a week of the flash going off every two seconds.


4. Realizing your biggest fan is your little sister. LD just couldn't get enough of her big brother...she tried to follow him wherever he went, even if it meant she would wait at the screen door until he finished reading outside on the porch.


3. Enjoying shaved ice at the Hale Koa after playing for a while near the surf.


2. Realizing that your friends can be just as goofy as you as they enter the magical world of play to while the hours away.


1. Playing cowboy and cowgirl with just your sibling. It's amazing what a 10 month old will endure just to get a smile from her brother and what a brother will do to hear his little sister laugh so hard she tipped herself over!!!

Something Out of a Horror Film

If you've read my post on HS's recent surgery to get his tonsils and adenoids out then you'll know two things: 0530 arrival and successful surgery. Well, in the spirit of that post, I write this one. Only without the element of happy go lucky that was in the last. Keep reading...the plot doesn't end like the end of a bad horror flick.

It is 0010 (12:10 midnight for my civilian readers) do you know where your darlin' is? For most, yours will be sleeping peacefully under comfy covers. Cue spooky music. Ours is shaking and gagging. He's crying out for mommy and daddy and when we enter the bathroom, he's huddled near the toilet coughing, sputtering, and vomiting blood. The culprit of this massive scare is not some insane maniac, but the battle wound of what used to be tonsils. Yes, chalk HS into the 3% of the population that when they have this surgery, they will have a "re bleed".

It was a flurry of adrenaline that jumped us into high gear as I carried him downstairs to the cat bus and HH dressed. HS was handed cold water to drink (the doctors had said that if he had a rebleed, have him drink cold ice water on the way to the ER...that would help stop the bleeding) and they were off to the ER in the cat bus. I raced inside to call a neighbor to come over and stay with LD. Within 5 minutes I was speeding to the hospital not long after the 1st departure. Thank God for kind neighbors!

Once at the ER, we went through the usual entry into any ER facility. State your case, speak to Triage, and then wait. Only HS's sinister scab-free incision had another plan.
"Mommy, I want to snuggle with daddy." he moans.
"Ok, darlin'...I'll get you to daddy's lap..." I reply.
"Uhhhh...mommy...my stomach is talking....I don't feel well..." he moans and then drops again to my shoulder, and curls into fetal position.

I stand and beginning taking him to the bathroom, but didn't make it before another scene out of a horror flick played out. HS vomited again blood and bile all over himself, my left side, and a trail followed us as I tried desperately to get him (and hopefully catch the helping hands of medical personnel) to a safe zone. The family bathroom was locked...I searched quickly for the women's restroom, gave up, and kicked the door to the men's restroom as I searched for the toilet for HS.

He stood on my feet (PJ bottoms, no shoes, and a shirt) and vomited again.
"Where in the world are the medics?!?" I wonder as I try to reassure HS that he is going to be OK and we'll see a doctor soon.
"Sh**! Where are they?" my mind races as I watch him turn pale white.
"Honey, mommy's going to get someone...hold me for a minute..."
My eyes hone in on a tiny sign by the toilet: Pull only in case of emergency.
Screw it...I've been having an emergency situation since my son started vomiting blood. I pull the magical cord that begins beeping and flashing a light.
"Is there someone in here?" I hear a voice.
"Yes!!!" I scream.
"Is it an emergency?" he replies as he peers around the corner into the stall.
"He's vomiting and is white as a sheet...YES!!! HELP ME!!!" I say with gritted teeth.
"Yes, ma'am. I'll be right back...we'll get him in now."
Thank God I sigh or somehow I would have had to figure out how to open a can of whoop a**.

It wasn't long before getting HS on the bed that they phoned the ENT docs. and the process of getting him into surgery was complete. They were fast. It was the getting through to the "wizard" that took the hardest. Once we were in the belly of the beast, we were good to go. HS's team of doctors couldn't have been better. They were caring, understanding, and what's more, I looked into their eyes and could see that they were clearly older than the Doogie Howser who had operated on him the 1st surgery. It was going to be OK I reassured myself as HH gave hugs, squeezes of the hand, and glances over at me as I tried to reassure HS.

This surgery evolution has not been what we had anticipated. In fact, far from it, but within six hours of arriving at Trippler, we were on our way home with a son that has once again proven that he has the strength of superman, the patience of Job, and the fight of Jet Li. He's recovering well (again) and is addicted to Chicken n' Stars. As far as I'm concerned, he can eat all the cans of his newest favorite soup. I'm just happy my family survived the horror and will pray that I don't have to see him suffer like that again.

Boo!

The air is cool, the season is fall
soon Boo's will come to all.
The treat that came with this special note
Is yours to keep, enjoy them both.
The fun comes with friends like you
now copy this and make it two.
Then others here among our friends,
will give warm fuzzies that will never end.
We'll all have smiles upon our face,
no one will know who BOOed each place.
Just TWO short days to work your fun,
or a big ZAP will strike, SO RUN!
And don't forget a nifty treat,
like something cute or something sweet.
Please join the fun, let's really hear it,
and spread some Boo's and lot's of spirit!

This weekend HS and I worked on a "boo!" project. For the past several Halloween seasons we have enjoyed participating in the revelry and with HS being held captive in the house this weekend as he recovered from surgery, making ghosts and treats was a perfect way to spend our time!

If you have never been "booed" or want to establish some interaction among your neighbors, this is the Halloween game for you! It is very simple to participate in and even the crankiest of neighbors will be seen smiling as they find their special treat and the stanchest will resemble little children when they attempt leaving the package of goodies on the front stoop without being caught in the act. Our clan gets a big hoot of trying to peg the least unsuspecting neighbors and we each have our "role" to play in the booing...HH is a kick in the pants to watch as he rings the doorbell and we race off trying to contain the giggles until we are back in the confines of our humble abode.

How to start the tradition off on a spooky note:

1. Create 2 "Boo" bag o' goodies that each includes a boo-gram, ghost for their door, and directions for them to follow on passing the "BOO!"(if this is new in your neighborhood, you may want to create 3 or 4 bags)

HS and I had a great time baking sugar cookies and then decorating them. We placed Halloween pencils, temporary Halloween themed tattoos and stickers, and an inexpensive potholder into our basket.

2. Print a "Boo" gram using the above little ditty.

We decided to use a fancy font and then HS just cut it out with cool scissors. Each year is a little different...you can do anything with the gram as long as you remember to get it into your little bag of treats!

3. Cut out 2 ghosts and make sure you have them added to your goody basket.

If you have older kiddos have them cut out a ghost and decorate the eyes and mouth...that gives them even more of a role to play in putting the treats together and they will love to see their "artwork" hanging on someone else's door!

4. Choose your unsuspecting targets.

At our house, choosing the targets was the hardest part...the natural thing is to want to peg everyone, but remember, by Halloween, just about everyone will have enjoyed the spread of Halloween cheer.

5. Make the "drop" by leaving your package taped to the door or hanging from the doorknob.

6. Ring the doorbell and run like h***!

Watcha waiting for?
Get off the computer and get "booing!"

Growing

Current Statistics of our 10 month-old:

10 number of times LD has pulled herself up to a standing position while I drank my
mornin' cawfee

"babba" code word for "bottle"

100 amount of squeals of delight LD gives to HS in one day

22 or 23 amount of lbs. of our LD

5 size diaper LD now wears

12 size of clothing LD now wears

4 number of words LD uses on a regular basis (mama, babba, iaaannn {HS}, mawa
{more})

6 number of baby signs LD uses (more, down, bottle, hello, kitty, bath)

2 number of steps LD can climb if you don't have the gate up

5 tiny giggles this girlie gives whenever you tickle her buddha belly or armpits and then she throws her arms in the air for as a sign for you to tickle again!

0 number of teeth

From the day we met...

and for all eternity...I will always love my HH. The week before HS's surgery, DF (dear friend) watched LD for us so that we could take a double kayak out near the Kaneohe Marine Base. HH and I had a blast paddling and then took a moment to enjoy being silly on the beach. I was thrown for a loop as I had only expected to kneel down beside him as we have always done...old fuddy duddies we are. He swept me off my feet and got me in a giggle fit. Ahhhh...12 years and the love is still strong and so is the silliness!

Tonsils and Adenoids Away!

It is 0530. Do you know where your little darlin' is? Usually, our little darlin's are snoring peacefully in their respective comfy beds with visions of legos (for HS) and rattles (for LD) dancing in their heads. However, Thursday morning at this ungodly hour did not equate to anyone snoring peacefully. Instead, the only member of the house who was still dreaming was LD. The rest of us had been up and gearing up to be at one of the largest military hospitals in the pacific....
da..da...da...Trippler Army Medical Center where our oldest, most precious little boy would undergo his first surgery. In retrospect, HS was the best at handling the pressure of the great unknown. He lead the way for HH and I to follow, although we didn't always follow as gracefully.

"Hi! My name's _______ and my tonsils and stuff are going to be taken away." He says to the lady at the surgical check in desk who looks like she is about ready to pop out her baby (obviously her reason of being at TAMC was to have her C-section). As we wait for our turn to speak to the nurse, HS glances at everyone who is arriving and makes sure to fill me in on what he thinks they are here for (he must have fallen, she's having a baby...a big one...since her belly is going to pop, those little kids must be snoring, too. I bet their mommy is sleeping over with them, too. That's why they brought their lovey's like I brought Sim.)

"Do you know why you're here?" the nurse smiles down at him.

"Because. I snore like an old man." He says without hesitation.

I think it was everything this nurse had in her to contain a burst of laughter. "Well, I'm sure by being here today the snoring will not be as loud....but do you know why you're here? Now?"

"Of course, they want cut my tonsils out. And take addannnoiddes,too." He says proudly. Little does he know what is in store. That's part of the beauty of childhood innocence. Gotta love that!

Once his vitals were taken, we headed down to the pediatric waiting room where he changed into his "Moses" gown. Apparently there must have been a rise in pediatric surgeries on his age level because they didn't have any PJ's that fit his size so he was given an adult sized gown and robe. Seeing him in it made me want to either laugh at the funny looks he'd give or cry with the realization that my little guy was having surgery and there was nothing I could do about it.

Finally, a nurse came to the waiting room and called his name. "Dad, they need you." "No,buddy. That means they need you."

Getting in line along with the other adults who were having surgery, we processed down the hall in line. We were like sheep following feed. Only, "Moses" had to carry his gown up so he wouldn't trip over the edges. The nurse had lined us according to the gurney. I think this was the weirdest feeling of all for us. It proves how big the Army Hospital here is and how many surgeries they do just in our time frame alone (more were waiting again in the presurgery area for their times).

Each of his surgical team introduced themselves to HS. He took an immediate like to the anesthesiologist who gave him a "fighter pilot" mask smelling of bubble gum.

"I never get to chew bubble gum! It sticks to my teeth and will make them rot" he proclaims.
"Well, here you can smell it all you want."

HS beamed. Ahhhh...again, innocence...if only he knew! Yes indeed, the mask was a yummy smell of bubble gum and he couldn't wait to see how high of a number he could get to while blowing up his balloon...apparently he succeeded in amazing and wowing the team at how quickly he could blow up his balloon and...fall asleep.

"What kind of Popsicle do you want darlin'?" I ask right before he goes in for surgery.
"Blue...I love blue ones" he says with a smile as he rolled away.
"Ok, I'll get you a blue one darlin'. I love you. I'll see you soon" I reply with a catch in my throat and tears that I tried to hold from coming.
With that, I was left standing watching him roll away wanting each second to run after him long after all I saw was the doors tightly shut.

The surgery only took about 45 minutes from seeing him being rolled away happily chatting with the nurse and attendants to seeing him in the recovery room. I must admit nothing could have prepared me for that hour spent with him in recovery. Your heart skips many beats as you watch your loved one lie on a table that looks larger than they'll ever grow to be. The drugs stifle their personality and for those moments you wonder if you'll ever get your loved one back. Eyes drift and words don't come out even though they want to speak.

When I initially walked towards him, he was crying, fidgeting, and trying to break free from the nurses.

"Where's my mommy? Where did you do with her? You've got to give her back!!! Where's daddy? Get them...please....please..." he cries in a state of panic, shock, and disorientation.

I quickly ran towards him trying to reach him...my heart and his daddy's had been growing impatient to see him and that hour did not fly by. The clocked seemed to have stopped. For HS, he looked towards me but seemed to stare right through me as I replied to his cries of "where's my mommy?" It was after I said, "darlin' mommy is right here...I've been waiting for you..." that he seemed to realize who the form was trying so desperately to help. His hand extended and I grabbed and kissed his cheek and caressed his tussled hair. He slept off and on in bouts of wakefulness until he would stir again with a whimper or moan.

"How an I help you feel better?" I whispered.
"I want my tonsils back..." he wails.
"I can't give you those back, honey. What else could I do for you?" I reply.
"I've been waiting a long time for my blue Popsicle, mommy..."

HS has been a real trooper through all of this. He is definitely proven that he is not only brave but resilient. Today it is hard to see him as the same little guy just coming out of surgery. His throat has hurt, but with all the ice cream and fruit smoothies he could ever eat, he seems to be settling in very nicely into "recovery" mode.

I on the otherhand, have been changed from this experience. It is never a desire for a mother to see her child injured or hurt, but realizing just how much a mother can love is impressive and awe inspiring. A love for a child can never falter. It only grows stronger with each day, each boo-boo, each moment.

Thanks to all for all the prayers and well wishes. They were certainly heard over in paradise.